


Coordinators, Cupcakes, and Baking, Oh My!

by orphan_account



Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: Crack, Cubcakes, Don't Read This, F/M, M/M, dumb, kitchen, no, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-27
Updated: 2004-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-14 06:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/512474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kira Yamato, Athrun Zala, and Yzak Jule were placed in a kitchen to bake cupcakes together! Why? Just because of the insanity that promises to happen of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coordinators, Cupcakes, and Baking, Oh My!

**Author's Note:**

> Nostalgia Trip: This fic is too old and too dumb for its own good. Enjoy!

"Okay, this really sucks," growled the ill-tempered voice of Yzak Jule while Lacus finished tying his apron from behind. He stared down at the offending article of kitchen clothing he was stuck wearing. Pink it was, all because Kira and Athrun got the blue and purple ones first. "You know, I'll kill you if you don't appreciate this, Dearka."

"You have to admit, it was better than the alternative," he said, grinning sheepishly at his uptight lover. Oh the dreaded alternative, there was always at least one. In Yzak's case, he had to wear Fllay's infamous pink dress for an entire day if he didn't do this. Why? Because the other boys in ZAFT dared him to do it, that's why! Only he wouldn't do it, so his alternative to that was baking sweets with his two greatest enemies. 'Whoopee' he thought to himself. 'Maybe I should've done the other thing. Then only Athrun would see me in pink.' Again, he frowned down on his current attire.

And to think! They actually had free time during the war! And this is what they did! Silly boys...

Dearka smiled and poked Yzak in the spine for no apparent reason. The silver haired boy shot an irked glare at the tanned soldier.

"You've got five seconds to get out of my face, Dearka."

The blonde darted out of the kitchen soon after that comment, going on loudly about how pink was Yzak's color. Kira and Athrun stood side by side behind Yzak sweat-dropping. They haven't even started yet and the insanity had already begun.

"Make those cupcakes taste good, cupcake," Fllay said, kissing her hand and waving to Kira. The boy just smiled and nodded, having gotten used to her pretty obvious crush on him. Not that it really bothered him, but the real girl he liked stared at him intently with large, pretty baby blue eyes. Bangs from her pink hair adorned the front side of her face while she held her Haro out to Kira. A big sweet smile was on Lacus's face.

"Would you and Athrun like Haro to keep you company?"

Kira blushed and nodded, not knowing anything good to say. He wasn't really the macho type so to speak. Athrun wasn't paying any attention to her, since his lover Cagalli was busy fiddling with his apron.

Cagalli smiled and pecked him on the cheek. "Good luck, soldier."

Soldier, yeah, that was true. Once Cagalli and Lacus left the battle ground, the war began. They didn't know why they were there, or how they'd gotten to some random kitchen down on the earth. It was all very random really. But there they were in flowery aprons, staring down at the evil that was flour, baking soda, eggs, and so forth. Not a one of them had ever baked anything in their lives.

Yzak snorted. Oh yeah, none of them had ever baked before. So for vengeance, he'd give Dearka one of hi... errrr... Athrun's horrible cupcakes so he'd get food poisoning! Dare Yzak to wear "pink" will ya? A pink dress even?? Well, he was going to dare his lover and the three girls not to throw up after eating hi... errrr... Kira's rancid cupcakes. The smirk on his face suddenly became uber evil, then evil laughter escaped his evil lips. Again, Kira and Athrun sweat-dropped in unison.

"You're actually enjoying this?" Athrun said while opening the bag of flour much to roughly, especially with his coordinator strength. White powder flew everywhere.

"Oh, nice Athrun! Maybe you should retire from being a soldier and become a professional baker."

"Shut-up, Yzak," Athrun said chucking a handful of flour at his comrade but missed. Yzak smirked and grabbed a knife.

"Errr, Yzak, did you not hear the part where Lacus said you could NOT kill Athrun or myself during this?" asked Kira, picking a plate out of the sink since it was the best shield he had at the moment. "You do remember, right?"

"It's either we live or you wear Fllay's dress one day, Lacus's the next day, and you have to rub their feet," Athrun said while trying to brush the rest of the flour off of him. "Unlike you, I actually pay attention to people."

Yzak lifted the knife. "You wanna try repeating that?"

Kira began to laugh while he pounded on about four of the eggs against the counter with his fists. One of the instructions was 'beat the eggs' right? "Yzak, you and Athrun fight like you're married."

Athrun shot a death glare at both of them, first Yzak for the hell of it, then Kira for the crude remark. "Now I might have to kill you, Kira!"

"Oh, pwetty pwease don't!" Kira's eyes went all wide and stuff, staring at Athrun with such a cute-like look that begged to be forgiven. What!? He did it to please the people! (since we all know Wuss!Kira's the only Kira that exists -sarcastic-) We all know Kira has more balls than that, and proved it by randomly chucking a wad of egg-covered flour at Yzak. And he didn't miss either. Yzak was pissed, but became utterly pleased with the sight that suddenly beheld him. Lacus's Haro floating above Kira's shoulder.

He grabbed the flying object and held the knife, which he refused to let go of, up to it. "Maybe I can't kill you two, but Clyne said 'nothing' about this annoying piece of sh... "

Athrun was laughing so hard his sides began cramping. "You really think you can damage a creation of mine with a vegetable knife? You're pretty stupid, EEEEEE-SUUCK!"

"I'M 'NOT' STUPID AND I DON'T SUCK!!!" he barked out, jamming the tip of his beloved knife straight onto the counter top. Naturally, the piece of crap snapped in two. Yzak nearly burst into tears. That promised to be the end of the two idiots whom stood before him.

"And that's not the only thing that's snapped," Kira said, seemingly responding to the author of this ridiculous story.

Wait, they aren't supposed to hear me, are they? O.O;;;

Well, in any case, Yzak walked up to the other two boys, purposely slamming himself into their shoulders jock-style while he sought out a mixing bowl. Mustn't forget their 'mission' must we? Cupcakes were their objective... and not getting killed in the process of course!

"You two morons watch the master at work," Yzak boasted, cracking his knuckles and smirking arrogantly. Athrun rolled his eyes and Kira proceeded to beat the next dozen eggs to death. He thought he was doing a pretty good job.

"Imbecile, Yamato, there aren't supposed to be any shells in that. And it's getting all over the floor!"

"Bite me, Yzak." Kira flipped him the bird, and I weren't talking 'bout the bird Athrun gave him either.

"You mean literally? Because I'll do it. I'll bite you until you have a scar just as big as this." Yzak shoved his thumb toward the scar on his forehead. Kira sighed and shook his head. Athrun chuckled.

"Now whose fighting like they're married."

Yzak snapped into Yzak-male-PMS mode at this point. The shade of red his face turned wasn't the healthiest, I can certainly assure you. "I am happily committed to somebody, thank you!"

Athrun snapped back. "And so am I, but that didn't stop Kira from cracking his little joke about us." They both turned to Kira with accusing glares. The lavender eyed coordinator gulped. Oh sure, blame he-who-cries-the-most. He didn't have any balls. Then he blinked, feeling most pissy as of now. The hell he didn't have any balls!

"Suck-it, both of you!"

Athrun snorted. "Thanks. I'll pass, I'm straight."

Yzak dropped the F-bomb under his breath since he really couldn't use that excuse now could he? Nope, he used this one instead: "I'm too dignified."

"And feminine," Athrun cracked.

Yzak cracked his knuckles and sent a fist flying straight into Athrun's face. "And you're one to talk? Nice hair, bastard!"

"You too!!!" Athrun shouted and tackled Yzak straight to the floor where they proceeded to beat each other up classic cartoon style! (as in their bodies were covered in a mysterious white cloud while random limbs came in and out of it.) Kira sweat-dropped, pulled up a lawn chair, pulled a glass of iced tea out of nowhere, and pulled some shades down over his eyes. Athrun and Yzak were stubborn boys. In other words, this was going to take awhile.

"What's going ON in there," Cagalli shouted while kicking open the door. She had a large pant-ball gun in her hand which froze all three of them in place, Kira being the most unfortunate of the three due to the iced tea he'd been drinking leaking rapidly down both sides of his face. Next time he needed to remember to use a straw.

Yzak was the first to speak up. "Kira was being lazy," he shifted his eyes to which was the currently relaxing boy. Now it was just the boy that seemed mixing perfect cupcake batter with a wooden spoon. Stupid coordinator super-mind and such.

"Uh-huh." Cagalli stuck her pinky in her ear and dug in it all-bored-from-tired-excuses-like. "That still doesn't explain why Athrun's hand is on your crotch."

"WHAT!?" Yzak looked down, only to find Athrun's fisted hand on his stomach. He shot a cold glare at where Cagalli was. She took off though, smart girl.

Athrun and Yzak got up and brushed their matted, filthy clothing off.

"I really hate her," Yzak muttered. "And I hate Dearka for getting me into this mess. And I hate YOU, Athrun, for many reasons, including helping Dearka get me into this mess. And Kira.. oh, you know why I hate you."

"Pick your nose, Jule. You hate everything," Athrun snapped then rolled his eyes.

"Damn straight," he muttered in reply.

Once Kira could almost literally see the electricity that flew between their intense pairs of eyes that glared at one another, he stepped in and broke them apart. "You guys, cut it out. We have to give the people what they want."

Athrun stared at Kira. "You know, I don't get why you and I have to do this, Kira. Yzak's the only one who has to wear the dress."

"Well, Lacus did say she'd be happy to try my cupcakes." Kira blushed.

"Oh boy, here we go," Yzak said while shaking his head. "Why not tell us your sob story, Athrun? I know you have one."

"I-It's none of your business," Athrun snapped. "Lets just say... Cagalli... " Athrun blushed.

Kira gasped in surprise. "THE HELL YOU'RE GOING TO DO THAT WITH HER!!" This time he tackled Athrun and they proceeded to battle classic animation style. No one 'did' 'stuff' with his sister and got away with it.

Yzak slipped out the back door quickly after either Kira or Athrun's wallet just happened to fly out of the fight-cloud-of-DOOM! He had an idea that would fix this problem once and for all.

\---- One hour later! ----

"Haro, Haro, HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOO!! Haro... " Haro Haro'd on then dropped the F-bomb seventeen times in a row. Hey, after being in the same kitchen as Yzak that really shouldn't have been surprising. Lacus hit the Haro with a baseball bat.

"Bad Haro, shame on you for saying that!"

Haro shut up... for good?

Suddenly, the three boys popped out of the kitchen. Their hair was messy, their cloths were torn, and they had soot on their faces and cloths from what Lacus and the others guessed was an explosion they didn't know about. Kira held out four perfect cupcakes to his friends.

Lacus took the first one, and smiled in approval. "This is so yummy, Kira."

He blushed. "T-thank you!"

Dearka took the next one, and placed a loving hand on Yzak's shoulder. "You did good, love."

Yzak just simply nodded, trying his hardest not to laugh.

Cagalli took the next and lent her head against Athrun's shoulder. "My room, seven-thirty, I'll be waiting."

Kira glared and Athrun smirked.

Then Fllay took the last one, immediately recognizing the taste of it.

"Cheaters!" she screeched, throwing the cupcake at Kira's head. "You bought these at the bakery down the street, didn't you?"

Yzak snorted. "You said get you cupcakes and I got you cupcakes, so now I don't have to wear your stupid dress."

"Who said you had to wear my dress!?"

Everyone else stared down at their feet or looked up to the ceiling, whistling random tones. A huge vein popped out of Fllay's head and she stormed out of the room. Everyone always seemed out to get that poor girl.

"That doesn't explain why you guys are covered in soot," Cagalli exclaimed.

"Athrun's to blame for that," Kira piped up. "While he and I were fighting, he ended up tossing half my torn apron over the stove's burner that was turned on due to something knocking into the knob to the left. Then soon after, a bottle of alcohol fell from the top of the overhead cabinet he slammed me into it, broke over the burner and what was left of my apron. It... kinda exploded."

The girls nodded at the strange the rather strange explanation. Dearka moaned.

"What's wrong with you?" Cagalli asked. Now Yzak's stifled laughter was becoming noticeable.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." He ran out of the room, and Yzak broke into hysterical laughter.

"You contaminated these, didn't you?" Cagalli inquired angrily.

Yzak shook his head. "Nope, just his." Then he muttered crap about stupid bastards and such for awhile.

Kira and Athrun shook hands, happy to know that this nightmare was finally over.

Or was it?

"IT DAMN WELL BETTER BE!!!" Yzak shouted back at the author.

Okay, now I'm scared...

\--------

End

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